The most important thing you need to know is that this was not your fault in anyway. The loss is unavoidable 95 percent of the time. Either the sperm or the egg were too old when they came together, or the miracle of two people's genes combining to form a new person just didn't happen right. It's not because you missed a vitamin or because you took a Tylenol: This was going to happen from the start.

What you had was a miscarriage, this is the loss of a first trimester pregnancy, It is also called an abortion. It is an incomplete abortion if the woman is bleeding and the body has passed some of the pregnancy. It is called a missed abortion if the pregnancy has died, but the only way we know is from a sonogram.

A miscarriage can be managed in two ways. One can just watch, wait, and allow the body to empty the uterus on its own. The advantage of this is that it is the most natural means. No anesthesia, no surgery and no risk of surgical complications. The down side is that this can take time, prolonged cramps and bleeding are possible, as well as incomplete emptying of the uterus with retained tissue that can continue to bleed and can become infected. All this can worsen an already difficult emotional situation.

The other way to manage a miscarriage is with a D and C (dilation and curettage). This is the emptying of the uterus with surgical instruments, in the operating room. The advantage of this is it gets the blood loss and pain over with, and the uterus is emptied completely. The disadvantage is that this is surgery, and surgery has risks: complications of the anesthesia, infections and injuries to the female organs are all possible. Fortunately, these complications are all very rare. How does one know which is best? It depends on how far the pregnancy is advanced the size of the uterus, the amount of bleeding, the patient's blood reserve, the level of surgical risk for the woman and her desires.

There is no way to ease the pain of your loss. It is a loss of hopes, plans and dreams. You will never be who you are today again. Your expectations will be different row. The advantage of this is it gets the blood loss and pain over with, and the uterus is emptied completely. The disadvantage is that this is surgery, and surgery has risks: complications of the anesthesia, infections and injuries to the female organs are all possible. Fortunately, these complications are all very rare. How does one know which is best? It depends on how far the pregnancy is advanced, the size of the uterus, the amount of bleeding, the patient's blood reserve, the level of surgical risk for the woman and her desires.

There is no way to ease the pain of your loss. It is a loss of hopes, plans and dreams. You will never be who you are today again. Your expectations will be different now and your next pregnancy will be greeted with a little more nervousness.

There is no way this can be undone. The risk of a miscarriage is usually. quoted as about 1 in 5 or diagnosed pregnancies. A study was done a few years back where women who were hoping for a pregnancy were tested with a very sensitive pregnancy test prior to their expected period.

A large number of women whose test was positive went on to have a period anyway. Probably more than a third of fertilized eggs do not survive beyond the first trimester, maybe more, but when you consider at the wonder of the formation of another little being from two others, it's amazing it is successful as often as it is.

If this is your first miscarriage, your chances of further problems are not significantly increased and the odds of a normal next pregnancy are still well in your favor. If you have had more than one miscarriage in a row there are some tests that may be a consideration to see if your uterus and chromosomes are normal; your doctor will be able to tell you more about these and some other evaluations you might need.